What Triggers Anxiety in Children? Warning Signs Every Memphis Parent Should Know
- Alliance Healthcare Services
- 3 hours ago
- 5 min read
Childhood anxiety often hides in plain sight. Here's how to recognize it and what to do next.
Your daughter used to love soccer practice. Now she complains of stomachaches every Saturday morning.
Your son asks the same question five times before bed: "You'll be here when I wake up, right?"
Your teenager hasn't hung out with friends in weeks and snaps at everyone over the smallest things.
These moments might seem like phases, bad moods, or growing pains. But they can also be signs of something deeper: childhood anxiety.
Anxiety Is More Common Than You Think
If your child is struggling with anxiety, they're far from alone. According to the CDC, anxiety disorders affect nearly 1 in 3 adolescents between ages 13 and 18.
And it's not just teenagers, research shows that 1 in 5 U.S. children now meets the clinical criteria for an anxiety disorder.
Even more striking: emergency mental health visits for children ages 6-12 have doubled in recent years. Something is happening to our kids, and parents are often the first to notice even when they're not sure what they're seeing.
What Triggers Anxiety in Children?
Anxiety rarely has a single cause. It usually develops from a combination of factors that build on each other over time.
Genetics and family history. Anxiety can run in families. Generalized anxiety disorder, for example, has about a 30% heritability rate. If you or your partner have struggled with anxiety, your child may be more predisposed to it, though genetics alone don't determine outcomes.
Major life changes. Moving to a new home, changing schools, parents separating, or losing a loved one can all trigger anxiety in children. These transitions disrupt a child's sense of safety and predictability, especially when they don't have the language to process what's happening.
Family stress. Children are remarkably tuned in to household tension. Arguments between parents, financial stress, or instability at home can create a baseline of worry that follows kids throughout their day, even when they can't articulate why they feel uneasy.
Trauma and adverse experiences. Abuse, neglect, witnessing violence, bullying, or being rejected by peers can all contribute to anxiety. These experiences can reshape how a child's brain responds to perceived threats, making them hypervigilant even in safe situations.
Academic pressure. School stress is the number one anxiety trigger for preteens, according to recent surveys. Whether the pressure comes from parents, teachers, or the child themselves, the weight of grades, tests, and performance can become overwhelming.
Social challenges. Friendships are complicated. Being left out, dealing with social media dynamics, or simply not knowing how to navigate peer relationships can fuel significant anxiety, especially during middle school.
Warning Signs That Often Get Missed
Here's what makes childhood anxiety tricky: it doesn't always look like worry.
Kids don't usually come home saying, "I felt really anxious today." Instead, anxiety shows up sideways, through behavior, physical symptoms, and emotional outbursts that can easily be mistaken for something else.
Physical complaints with no clear cause. Frequent stomachaches, headaches, or muscle tension (especially before school or social events) can be anxiety in disguise. If your pediatrician can't find a medical explanation, anxiety may be the culprit.
Irritability and anger. An anxious child often looks like an angry child. More tantrums, shorter fuses, and snapping over small things can all signal that anxiety is building underneath.
Avoidance. Refusing to go to school, dropping activities they used to enjoy, or avoiding social situations are classic signs. Anxiety tells kids that avoiding the scary thing will make them feel better, and in the moment, it does. But avoidance makes anxiety stronger over time.
Constant reassurance-seeking. Asking the same questions repeatedly ("Are you sure it's safe?" "What if something bad happens?"), needing to know the plan for every situation, or checking in constantly can indicate anxious thinking patterns.
Sleep problems. Trouble falling asleep, nightmares, refusing to sleep alone, or waking up exhausted despite enough hours in bed often accompany anxiety.
Changes in eating. Some anxious children lose their appetite; others seek comfort in food. Any significant change in eating habits is worth paying attention to.
Social withdrawal. A child who suddenly pulls away from friends, prefers to be alone, or seems to have lost interest in activities that used to bring them joy may be struggling.
Difficulty concentrating. Anxiety hijacks attention. If your child seems distracted, forgetful, or unable to focus (and it's affecting school performance) anxiety could be playing a role.
"It's Just a Phase" Or Is It?
Every child feels worried sometimes. Fear of the dark, nervousness before a test, shyness around new people, these are all normal parts of growing up.
So how do you know when it's more than a phase?
Frequency. Normal worry comes and goes. Anxiety shows up most days.
Intensity. Normal worry is manageable. Anxiety feels overwhelming and out of proportion to the situation.
Interference. Normal worry doesn't stop your child from living their life. Anxiety does. It affects school, friendships, family time, or activities they used to enjoy.
Duration. Normal worry passes. Anxiety persists for weeks or months.
If you're seeing these patterns, trust your instincts. Early intervention makes a significant difference. Children who receive support for anxiety have much better long-term outcomes than those who don't.
What You Can Do Right Now
Validate their feelings. Saying "don't worry" rarely helps. Instead, try: "I can see you're really worried about this. That sounds hard. I'm here with you."
Avoid enabling avoidance. It's tempting to let your child skip the scary thing to spare them distress. But this teaches their brain that the threat was real. Gently encourage them to face fears in small, manageable steps.
Model healthy coping. Kids learn by watching. Let them see you manage your own stress in healthy ways. Taking deep breaths, talking through problems, asking for help when you need it.
Teach grounding techniques. Simple tools like the 3-3-3 rule (name 3 things you see, 3 things you hear, move 3 body parts) can help interrupt anxious spirals in the moment.
Keep routines predictable. Anxiety thrives on uncertainty. Consistent schedules, clear expectations, and advance notice about changes can help your child feel more secure.
When to Seek Professional Help
Home strategies are valuable, but some situations call for professional support:
Anxiety that's getting worse, not better
School refusal or significant academic decline
Panic attacks
Physical symptoms that don't respond to medical treatment
Social isolation
Talk of self-harm or not wanting to be alive
Your own gut feeling that something isn't right
The most effective treatment for childhood anxiety is cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which helps kids understand the connection between their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. With the right support, children can learn to manage anxiety rather than be controlled by it.
Memphis Families: Help Is Here
At Alliance Healthcare Services, we understand that when your child is struggling, your whole family feels it. We've been serving Shelby County families for over 50 years, and we know that getting help shouldn't mean waiting months for an appointment, especially when your child is in distress.
That's why we're opening the Children & Youth Wellness Center in April 2026.
Located at 602 Malcomb Street in Memphis, this first-of-its-kind facility will provide 24/7 crisis stabilization for children and teens ages 4-17. Think of it as a mental health emergency room designed specifically for young people. A place where families can walk in anytime, without an appointment, and receive immediate care.
Our trauma-informed approach includes crisis assessment, short-term stabilization, individual and group therapy, and family support services. We don't just stabilize your child, we connect your whole family with the resources you need to move forward.
No child will be turned away due to inability to pay.
Need support now?
Call 24/7:
Alliance Healthcare Services Crisis Line: 901-369-1410 (24/7)
Walk-In 24/7:
Children & Youth Wellness Center 602 Malcomb Street, Memphis, TN
Opening April 2026
This is the second post in our series on children's mental health. Read the first post: "The 3-3-3 Rule for Anxiety: A Simple Tool Memphis Parents Can Use Right Now." Coming next: "When Your Child Is in Crisis: What Memphis Parents Need to Know."